So, what's my excuse?

In my devotional time tonight I read when Jesus predicted the disciples betrayal in Matthew 26:30-35.  We read this account and wonder what the disciples were thinking.  We think to ourselves, "How could you abandon and deny Christ?  You walked with him for 3 years!  Wake up!"  However, something hit me tonight.  To their credit, I don't think they really knew what they were getting into.  Jesus was about to die a horrible and painful death.  They didn't think this was going to happen.  They never thought about the Messiah dying on the cross.  They thought of the Messiah as a great conqueror of their enemies.  They would never have envisioned their King arrested, tried, sentenced, and crucified.  Fear overtook them.  But, one thing to keep in mind is that the Holy Spirit had not come upon them yet (see Acts 2).  This does not mean that the Holy Spirit never worked in the disciples lives before this.  He obviously did, but He had not come to dwell inside of them in order to transform them from men overcome by fear to men who overcame their fear. 
This is where I was challenged.  I asked myself, "So, what's my excuse?"  There are times where I deny Christ, whether it's through my actions, my words, my lack of words, etc.  There are times where I ignore opportunities to show the love of Christ or tell someone about His great love and grace.  I know I should find comfort and encouragement in the fact that the disciples did the same thing, but they did not have the life-transforming power of the third person of the Trinity known as the Holy Spirit living inside of them.  I am a new creation in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17).  I am transformed and should no longer conform (Romans 12:2).  I am going to fear, but I do not have a spirit of fear that lives inside of me.  I have a spirit of power!  Paul writes to Timothy in II Timothy 1:7, "...for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self control."  I no longer what to excuse myself from doing the Lord's work on a daily basis.  I no longer want to use fear as an excuse for not opening my mouth and proclaiming the Gospel with boldness and passion.  I no longer want to make excuses period.